Good News is like oxygen, you just need it. It is hard to stay positive when you continually here bad news and even more so when you feel like nothing is in your power. Before my most recent check up, that was what I was struggling with the most.
I felt like a victim! When I asked my doctor, “What can I do to help my prognosis?” the answer always came back as, “Nothing.” Not being able to do anything leaves one as the victim and that by itself is a Very DANGEROUS thing!
I decided that I will not be the victim of my cancer. I will find things to do that will help me. The things I can do may not be scientifically reliable ways to cure cancer, but they are positive things that I believe can beat cancer. I decided what I can do is Prayer, focus on my Purpose, eat right, and get in as good a shape as a cancer patient can be in. These are the things that I chose to implement in my life before we came to Houston on Tuesday.
Many people ask what they are suppose to do with their life and I have asked this question, but I really hate this question. I think that we should ask, “What do I choose to do with my like?” We should claim responsibility and say, “This is what I choose.”
“This is what I choose, I choose to inspire people to live more like Jesus!” This is my purpose and as long as The Lord gives me, I will preach and write to this end. I will focus in on this and I will not be a victim. So if your church needs a speaker, as long as I am physically able, let me know and I would love to come share.
I feel empowered by claiming that truth for my life and while it doesn’t cure my cancer, it gives me a great reason to fight. A reason to fight is very important and even more so when you get a lot of bad news. Bad news has been a regular thing, but no LONGER is it the only news. I had twelve brain tumors and as of my scans yesterday, I only have one tumor in my brain. The gamma knife surgery was a great success!
The one tumor that is left was my biggest tumor and it maybe dead and just has to be reabsorbed by my body. The doctor said that the rate at which it is shrinking is much faster than other patients so I am very positive about it being dead! The doctor didn’t know why my eyesight in my right eye is so bad. She thought that there might be a very small tumor irritating my optic nerve. At fist I was upset about this, but then she said that it wasn’t a big deal because as soon as they found it she would go in and blast it.
Bay and I went out to celebrate the results. Before we finished dinner, my doctor called and said that she went down to radiology and had help examining my scan and that they were sure that there was no tumor and that my nerve may just be irritated and my sight may go back to normal on its own!
This is great news! Instead of maybe having months to live, I now could have years to fight! I still have a hard situation with my cancer spreading in my torso, but my brain being clear gives me such a better chance of fighting. I can inspire more people! I can live on purpose longer.
I tell you this because I am so thankful for your prayers and support. As you pray, please pray that I can beat this so that I can live out my purpose. That is my prayer and it is not a bargain. If God only gives me six months, then I will inspire for that time, but if he gives my sixty years then even better.
Thank you for joining me on this roller coaster. It has tested my faith to have one day where a doctor tells you that you aren’t going to live to another doctor telling you that there is great hope. God is using you to help me through the ups and downs and I have seen him in ways that I never have before. This is the power of the Church and the Church is so much more than the people who attend a building on Sunday. I have found God’s people throughout different communities of all denominations and it gives me great hope.
If you are struggling with finding your purpose, I suggest you look where you passion meets the Kingdom of God. If you don’t know what the Kingdom of God is, or looks like, spend some time reading through the Gospels until you can feel it and recognize it. There is nothing better than walking into the space where your passion meets God’s presence and that is my prayer for you!
May God Bless You!